January 9, 2010.
As we enter a year, it seems only natural to reflect on the past year and look forward to 2010. I can hardly reflect on 2009 without remembering the loss of our dearest of friends.
Despite my mother's wishes all through middle school, I am not a piano player. But on a recent trip to the second-hand store, I saw a stack of beginner piano books and picked some up for Christy (soon to be 6) who enjoys learning how to play. One of the books was of Christian favorites. I found myself sitting at our piano playing for the first time in 20 years... "Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that You're My God" with tears pouring down my face.
I have a good cry at least once a week. Brent and I often spoke on Sunday evening and it seems as though I've saved up so much to tell him. I've tried to foster that same sort of relationship in others; it just isn't the same. I miss him greatly.
Lisa and I were talking about 2010. We were discussing the need to disciple our two oldest (who both have accepted Jesus into their hearts). Lisa noted how Patricia was sooo good at being purposeful in everything she did. We learned much from both of them.
Their flowers remain on our mantle. The Christmas card portrait remains on our wall. A picture of Josh and Caroline together at a wedding in South Carolina remains in his room.
There is nothing beyond God's ability to redeem for His glory and our edification. I've said that so much over the last few years, I ought to have it trademarked. I believe it with all of my heart. I said it to Brent many times between January 9 and February 19 last year. I told it to our Sunday School class yesterday and I'll likely tell it to some hurting young person at work this week.
I don't believe that it was "their time to go." I believe that we live in a world where Satan does have (temporal not eternal) power. What Satan means for evil, God can use for good (for His glory and our edification). It was Satan who guided their van off their road and who prevented a quick rescue. And yet God called them home to His presence. He has used - and will continue to use - what Satan meant for evil to fulfill His promise that He can "work all things together for good."
The legacies of Brent, Patricia, Caroline and Anthony live on. A friend and I tearfully shared a memory on the phone a few weeks ago. We each acknowledged hugging our wives and children tighter. Lisa and I have talked a number of times about the need to be more intentional about praying for our children and our loved ones who have not accepted Christ. Brent modeled this so well; nearly every time we bowed our heads together to pray, he would request prayer for his family.
A man from our church recently shared a word by John Piper (one of the preachers Brent used to listen to on the radio). It was entitled "Don't waste your cancer." This man is dying of inoperable brain cancer and took solace in knowing that God was using his cancer to touch him - and others.
I don't want to "waste" the memories of Brent, Patricia, Caroline and Anthony. I treasure them with all of my heart. It is my prayer that God will continue to redeem this situation for His glory and my edification. I have pledged to God further growth in 2010, much of it inspired either directly from watching Brent and Patricia and their walk with Him or inspired indirectly as we've reflected upon their lives and our loss.
I am so grateful to the Lord for allowing us to share their friendships for the time we did. I'm a better Christian, a better father, a better friend for having done so.
In memory of Patricia, Caroline and Anthony Bigger on the one-year anniversary of their passing. We're looking forward to "the Hello after Goodbye."
Andrew (and Lisa, Josh, Christy, Lauren and Justin)
Click PLAY to watch Legacy Five sing "Hello after Goodbye."
