February 19, 2010.
I feel as though - on the one year anniversary of Brent's home-going - a tribute is expected of me. I've written a lot already - some of it posted here. Most recently was this post on the one year anniversary of the crash. Before that was this post on what would have been Brent and Patricia's 10th anniversary; this post of vintage wedding pictures; this post that served as my full tribute to Brent; this post from April; this clip of the Biggers singing "Here I Am to Worship;" this clip of the 1995 Chapel Quartet singing "No More Night;" and this post, the original announcement about the accident.
Thanks for your prayers. Thanks for your emails and calls today. It did not occur to me until earlier this week what I had scheduled for today. Wednesday morning I was driving to work; a song that reminds me so much of Brent came on the radio; I wondered what I would do in his memory today.
It was not until I got into my office and checked my schedule that I remembered. I spent 15 hours over Thursday and Friday giving a presentation to mental health clinicians on suicide intervention skills. I had planned to become a certified presenter in the course long before Brent's passing. For a moment, there was a question as to whether or not I should continue. I have.
As with all of the presentations since Brent's passing, I cried today. (In fact, as you might have guessed, I've cried through this email). And yet, one of those in attendance today talked about how much more real the presentation was then she had expected.
I suppose that I could have spent the day listening to our old quartet tape. Or laughing at Youtube videos. Or looking at the flowers and pictures on display throughout our house.
Instead, I talked about how to help others identify their feelings of hopelessness and how to help them to find a place of safety. Then I came home and watched our Friday night movie.
Somehow I think that's the way I was meant to spend today.
Andrew
